Retirement is a major change that each of us must face at the end of our work life. as we adjust our lives and deal with time without daily work pressure, we have to face extra pressure, adjust our life to spend 24 hours with our spouse.
From meeting in the morning and in the evening, talking about children and work stress, you suddenly face a lot of time and don't have much time to talk about work-related things.
The two adjustments could put a lot of pressure on them.
As a continuation of the first part of this article, I have made some observations, and from the life of myself and my friends, the two of you have maintained a marriage harmony at home: building personal space at home-it's always good to designate small areas at home that belong to each of you.
It could be a chair where you sit reading newspapers, a table where you play cards with friends, or a desk you call yourself.
In your home, you should have the ability to "retreat" into your space when you want to have your own space.
Keep some "lonely" or "personal" time-it is very important to be alone at times so that you can give yourself space and allow you to reflect and think.
You can also use this time to appreciate what your spouse has done for you.
Couples should have separate computers and separate TVs in separate rooms.
This will automatically enable you to spend some time alone.
You need to strike a balance between unity and separation.
Doing everything together and being together all the time can be useful for some couples, but generally some breathing space will always add value to a relationship, especially after retirement.
Respect your partner's needs-if your partner likes to sleep late and you are the one who gets up early, start putting what you need in another room in the morning, stick your toes out of the bedroom without disturbing your partner's sleep.
You will get a lot of brownie points from your partner!
Dress up every morning-it's especially important for men to make sure they dress up every morning like they did when they used to work, instead of hanging out before lunch in their pajamas.
Since you have retired, disrupting your daily life at home is a guaranteed reason to increase your spouse's stress.
Also, this routine will help you to do something more meaningful during the day!
Specify the tasks you are going to do-this is more relevant for those who don't usually do much work at home.
This will help them develop a habit like making tea, running a washing machine, taking a dog out for a walk, or anything you all agree.
I also find that a lot of retired people take responsibility for outdoor activities such as buying food and vegetables, something they have never done before.
Some people really look forward to the event because it gives them a chance to go out and meet people.
Start using a separate toilet-after a long marriage, anything can become a stimulus at home, and the use of the toilet is as good a reason as the stress at home.
From a simple problem is not putting towels in the sun after the shower, to not cleaning the bathroom sink after the morning wash-in a couple trying to rediscover, everything could be a problem for each other after thirty years of marriage!
If you have two toilets in your home, designate one for yourself and your partner.
Pursue different interests-life can get boring if you all have the same interests, you don't want that.
There's nothing to talk about at home.
If one plays golf and the other plays the bridge, encourage it.
Talking about your respective interests at a cup of tea or table will gradually evolve into a more meaningful conversation that connects you both.
Keep some separate friendships-although there will always be strong connections between you, and most of your social activities will be together, for both of you, it is wise to have some friends separate for your own personal growth and to help keep you as you are.
Men will face greater challenges because they often have short-term working relationships in their work life.
It's not surprising that many men reach out to their school and university partners after retirement.
Argue-when you adjust to each other every day for a longer period of time, there must be differences in your marriage.
You also don't have the luxury of going to the office or on business to wait for both of you to "cool down.
After spending so much time together, you should be able to measure the mood of each other and understand the "hot" button that infuriates your partner.
Stay away from such discussions and take the lead in walking away if you face such a situation.
It's better to agree not to agree, not to conflict with each other, to make the two sides suffer for a few days!
It has been commented on how they have remained sensible in marriage after retirement: "I have been happily married for 33 years. My secret? Two towels.
My wife likes to have two new towels to take a shower in the morning.
The last thing I do before going to bed every night is to put two new towels in the bathroom.
So, before I go to bed, she knows that the last thing I want is her.
"But the best advice I can give to women is probably to relax and enjoy his time at home.
Happy for him because he doesn't have to get up every morning to go to work.
He can get a reward from his work and his life as a breadwinner.
Figure out the troubles and distractions and find fun from them.
Plan something you can do together or encourage him to create a hobby.
Keep in mind that he is not used to his free time and he may thank you for your advice.
In the beginning, retirement may be a bumpy road, but after a year or so, routine will develop.
You have a great marriage.
You are all independent people.
Now more than ever, compromise and accept your marriage because you do not want to live "unhappily" in your future life.
For the first time, several retired couples have learned to create a lifestyle that they all love to meet the emotional needs of both of them.
They learn to eliminate personal habits that have made their relationship miserable for decades.
After they learn to avoid hurting each other and to meet each other's emotional needs, they are no longer afraid to be with another person every day for the rest of their lives.
Look at the rest of the years and make adjustments to a happy life.