From "true American: the murder and mercy of Anand Giri Dallas in Texas".
All rights reserved©1014 South Giridharadas.
With the permission of the publisher, W. W.
Norton Company Limited
A lot of times a customer walks into the mini
Raisuddin offers a few guarantees at the bazaar on South Bauna and Elam Road.
Maybe they noticed his olive T-
Shirts and bright sneakers, and explained as he wished: as a rising man's clothes, rather than a typical gas station worker.
Or maybe they heard some unexpected talent in one of his newly made conversations.
At these moments, they may speak to Lai Sudin or just smile in a way that makes him happy.
They know he's not from this place. It was 2001.
He arrived in Texas at the beginning of the summer.
He is from Dhaka, Bangladesh and has lived in New York City for two years.
On the edge of the Dallas metropolis, he started his life at 5 in the morning. m.
At the boss's house, where he lived, he quickly dressed and rushed to the back of the counter before dawn.
He sells lemonade from country time and drinks from Tahiti.
Until midnight or 1 in the morning, cents candy, Gillette shaver and Copenhagen tobacco products. m.
, Dig into the sports scores of Dallas Morning News and chat with other Flint's counters, try out the guest talk he's still learning, and squeeze out as many five prayers as possible.
He then returns home to take a shower, eat, and catch his blink before the bike recovers.
Selling to three American tamales for a dollar is a strange landing for a man in his twenties. seven-year-
An old man who has been trained in Fighter Command and qualified as a Microsoft Certified System Engineer.
But many people leave their homeland and find that to rise, they must first sink into the fresh earth below.
Raisuddin is no longer a member of the Bangladesh Air Force.
He's the owner of the barkner food supermarket. *The mini-
Matt looks at a bad corner.
It lingers on the wasteland of Central Dallas, where the city is seen by its nobles as the second Los Angeles, while the eastern part is a rural community.
One way to drive away from the store, it's easier to find vegetarians and Ashtanga than BBQ and two --step.
Driving to another way, the environment in Mississippi could be more enjoyable in a few minutes: RVs turned into a family expansion, Union of the Southflag license-
Fence plate bracket
In the horse herds, laid-back wooden huts, outdoor exhibitions of items that cannot fit into them.
For immigrants like Raisuddin, the economy around Wal-Mart may look pretty bleak.
This is not the economy of the legendary company.
World boys like him fantasize about work, Boeing, IBM, P & G-
The name that appears on the business card one day may be enough to ease the pain of leaving home.
Commercial consumption in these regions is greater than production: repeated gas pump chains like his tire shop, cheap food, and financial institutions propose to transfer funds on the gradient of space and time-
Turn the $100 cash here into $83 for Oaxaca, or your $350 salary due on Friday into $300 now.
Like many places in the world, Raisuddin grew up with the United States on his TV screen, so he felt he knew it before he set foot there.
As a young man, he looked at the place with lofty eyes: "It is like one of the happiest and richest countries in the world, without any problems ---
This is the image.
This is the land of opportunity.
Whoever goes there, you can do whatever you want.
There are tools;
The tools you use. It's up to you.
Unlike Bangladesh, where opportunities are limited, millions of people are fighting for a small opportunity.
His first two years in AmericaS.
In New York, this black oneand-white schema.
Misfortune happened in the United States;
Bangladesh suffered misfortune.
But when people get home, poverty together seems to be different from poverty alone, because people are often on the edge of Dallas.
There is no doubt that he comes from a country that is often cruel: the power that hisses at any time until it arrives with a fatal passion for the rain that has been preserved before, the explosion of the factory and the soaring bus from the hillside, as well as the drowning of swollen barges.
But in these things, like in life, you are rarely alone. -
Even if you want to be such a person
People live very crowded in each other's business, and their presence is invasive and soothing at the same time.
Parents, brothers and sisters and in-
The law is holding itself back. pity.
The traditional way of eating, getting married and taking care of the elderly unites the community and constantly hurts people on the road.
It took a lifetime for people to get paid for their wedding because they knew they needed a tribe, even more than money.
Of course, this connection is not enough to keep Rais--
He introduced his abbreviation to Americans ---in Bangladesh.
Still, he was struck by the fact that Dallas people seemed to lack each other more than bread, a bus pass or a roof above their heads.
"So Lonely, so lonely, and even out of their own family," he said of the life around him . ".
They drove to the food market on board. cars, alone.
They eat alone at their fast food restaurant.
They put their hopes of peaceful aging on scratches.
It's not a passionate child. it's a lottery ticket.
In this isolation, a terrible Wild will thrive.
In his view, the people around Rais are basically not responsible for their parents, teachers, and even their God in many cases.
No one can answer them.
They call for themselves sometimes.
Spent four months at the barkner food market and had enough time to find out what a terrible idea it was.
He is here to see how poverty in a broken place differs from poverty in a place still under construction.
Just then, more than once May, Rais waited behind the counter for the front door to open and a customer appeared.
He will give Rais a credit card to refuel and then go outside to refuel.
When this person draws blood, Rais swipes his card in it over and over again, wondering what he did wrong ---
Until he realized it was a dead card, the man had no intention of paying and had escaped with a liquid loot worth $40.
This is the richest country in the world.
Or there are still young boys sitting on their mother's lap, walking to the barkner food market and stealing candy and chewing gum.
Or recurring. -
Once, strange picky--condom thieves.
One night, after an Isha prayer at about 9 or 10, Rais saw two young men crowded in the corner.
He came out from behind the counter and checked them, which made them escape to the exit.
He ran to the place where they hid and saw one or three.
A pack of condoms was torn and two were missing.
At least that night they had the grace to steal what they needed.
Rais followed them out of the store and insisted that they pay for what they took.
They called him back ".
"He promised once they paid.
After all, it's about spending money, and Rais is responsible for his boss. -Don't they see it?
Then one of the boys flashed through something that looked like a gun and reiterated his suggestion to give up.
Rais reconsidered his position: "After that ---
Wow, I don't want to lose my life for a pack of condoms-
I said, well, you don't have to pay.
"One afternoon near the summer peak, a man walked into the supermarket, took a soda from the refrigerator and gave Rais a dollar bill.
After the cashier opened, the man pulled out a gun.
Rais is proud of the leveling of his keel and knows that there is nothing to be wary of: "At gas stations people often come and sell their personal belongings ---
Computer monitors, TV, stuff like that. -
All the poor people nearby.
So I think this guy wants to sell that gun, too.
Because he's a customer.
Two points now.
In my opinion, the robbery happened in the dark.
Robbery at night--
In a not too crowded place, but not at the gas station at two o'clock P. M.
Also, he bought a drink so he was a customer.
Rais began negotiations: "Do you want to sell ? "How much?
"No, my friend, give me the money," replied puzzled.
"Yes, I will give it to you," Lais said . "
"How much do you want?
"No, no, my friend, give me the money," the man repeated, getting more and more excited.
Rais tried again: "Yes, I will, but how many guns do you want?
The man raised the pistol and pressed it on Rais's forehead, which awakened the sleeping soldier in him: "According to my military experience, I know he is going to shoot, because he lost his gun.
I said, okay, don't shoot me.
Here is the money.
"Rais took some of the regular green library from the register and handed them over.
He was annoyed by the incident because military training in Bangladesh specifically covered one. on-one gunfights.
Rais's mind returns from time to the life he left.
What is he doing at a miserable gas station in Texas?
But he lived there for a long time.
"I know it's not my life," he told himself . ".
"It's only temporary now ---
For the time being, just to survive.
I'm doing a bigger goal.
"This is not his first gas station, and he believes in dignity in all his work.
If, on those Thursday of childhood, something got stuck, sitting on the sheets covered with the carpet of the living room, under the sacred verses that decorate the walls, with his grandfather's recitation of the Prophet's quotations, the swing Muhammad was a shepherd, and his daily work covered up his fate.
Rais's days at Wal-Mart were well planned.
Before the end of the year, inshallah, who will fly home and use the money from the gas station to make money on long trips
After the wedding--
If he can arrange it, it will be held in the air force chaos in Dhaka ---
He will take her to Dallas in the right way.
He will register for a computer course at the University of Texas at Dallas or the lichland Community College (
He's still counting the dollar cost of each credit).
If things go as planned, he will certainly be a real system engineer for a well-known company in the city center.
Because he knew he would leave, Rais could suffer from the barkner food market.
His short life is full of parting.
His faith is Islam.
Other things that he can easily give up, most people don't.
This is one of the reasons why he became a man who wanted America.
Not to mention his stubbornness, his ability to ignore the voice rather than his own, and his attention to what he considers to be his God --given luck.
What a casual mini visitor it is.
What Matt can't see is that his appearance is a product of a series of victories.
Rais Bhuiyan arrived in Dallas and, by the grace of God, was the most merciful and compassionate and was the seventh victory in this campaign.
* In the years before the Great Cyclone, wealth returned to half a generation, with 1980 people in the middle.
It falls on a young man of a family who is well prepared for it: an educated and pious upper classmiddle-
Class family pursuing itworld and next-
The World Ends with the same dedication.
Rais's father was an engineer at Bangladesh Telephone and Telegraph.
He has steadily risen in the bureaucracy to perform various duties, including helping countries with poor capacity to build communication infrastructure.
The work gave his family a comfortable, closed life.
His ancestors came from the northeast of India and Assam.
In Dhaka, he was one of the early settlers in an area called Dania. -
A tranquil suburb, south of Chittagong Highway, is the capital of a crowded, noisy, sweaty back.
My father had come to the community before the 71-year war of independence, when the area was still full of rice fields.
He has been involved in this community and this commitment has become important to Rais's concept of his father: a man who is much more than his daily work, he always asks what else can be done-
Whether it's an effort to set up a primary school in Daneya, to help parliamentary candidates, or to manage the Community Welfare Trust, which keeps the streets clean and the sewers swallowed.
Rais's parents got married in a traditional, arranged way.
At least Lais's mother is more religious than her father.
Rais described her in an ordinary, non-controversial way, and women around her are often cast. She was soft-
Speak, be modest and respectful to others.
If she had a sense of pride, it would be that, unlike the Housewives, they would gossip and judge the neighbor's sofa with the most gentle impulse.
But her network has extended to the city, where her family has settled for generations.
Her radar keeps an understanding of such facts every hour, such as who's daughter is going to get married, who's father is down, who's roof is falling, and who's bill can't be paid.
Rais worships her, and perhaps the highest praise he can give is that no one can notice that three of her eight children are not hers: they belong to her husband's first wife, he went to heaven too early.
Although the Bhutan family
Their ideas are simple and pious, and they live in a house of all the walls on a quiet street with relative privileges.
Rais only remembers three.
Wheel rickshaws are singing and dancing instead of belching trucks and buses that pollute the streets of the capital less.
In the spring, Danielle offers this exciting rarity in Dhaka: you can hear the birds.
Bhutanese are aware of their strengths, afraid of God, dedicated to his path, they try to please him and avoid jealousy through constant charity activities.
This charity is not a city of ambition.
Sometimes it's shaped like a distant relative. -or "relatives"--
Sitting in the living room, while eating snacks and juice, while appearing and telling stories, it inevitably explains why, for example, they can't afford a wedding next week.
It may then be given a stack of cash, or a spare sari, or a table that is no longer in use.
They say it's their honor to be in the style of their area.
Of course, it's also a way to make sure that if God changes his mind about you, you will also have the living room to sit down and people can tell you your story.
When family members do not know the seekers, they wait at the front door.
Rais or other children will stand inside and listen to the story of the visitor, review it, bring it to the parents and ship it back to any gift.
Rais grew up on the Gregorian calendar and has many special days on the lunar Islamic calendar.
The test dates for study and school applications are mixed with the dates of ceremonies, sacrifices and family gatherings --togethers.
Rais likes to stress that many people have been involved in charity these days, especially donating food.
For example, on the tenth day of Muharram, the family will cook a large bucket of khichdi in the front yard, enough for dozens.
Rais remembers that there was a scent that attracted a group of hungry people who were accepted through the gate when it was ready ---
When they ask, they are also allowed to bring some for their families.
Lais's grandfather, Hassan Ali, presided over a self-ceremony Thursday.
Purify and pray.
Rais believes that it is important to do this on that day, because Thursday is the time when God sent the angel who checked us to broadcast their report to the sky.
The family was baptized, and then sat in a circle to hear what his grandfather said from the holy training.
They will, as Rais thought, wash their hearts by repeating the motto in a low voice, without God, only their God.
His family knows that little Rais is Rippon.
He was born in September 1973 and is the seventh of eight children and is easily lost at the family fair.
But he often acts like a boy and seems to have a secret understanding that he is special and has some sort of mark ---
Like he met in a story about his brother and junior college.
As Rais recalled, one of his older brothers had dreamed of studying at a prestigious military boarding school.
But Sylhet Junior College has thousands of applications every year, with only a small percentage passing the filtering of written, oral and medical tests.
Rais's dada application failed.
People remember Rais seeing his mother faint from despair.
Brother is a very good student and the prospect of her whole flock becomes suspicious if he can't do it.
"I don't know who can do it," she snapped one day . ".
Rais is too ambitious, too conscientious and not aware of the opportunity.
"Don't give up, Mom," he said.
"I think I can do it.
He vowed to appease her by retaliating against her brother's refusal.
As he relates, the oath talks about the role that Rais is emerging: sacrifice and self on one level
Deny the willingness to put any plans on hold and climb any Mountain for the family;
On the other hand, his early intuition was that the rope that bound others did not need to bind him.
He is in fourth grade.
Two years later, it's time to deliver on this old promise.
Rais learns for exams up to 16 hours a day in hot weather, and two fans at home are cooling him down.
He took part in a tutoring class in the winter and packed the lessons in the textbook --
Designed for aspiring students.
He took the exam earlier in the new year.
When the final verdict came out, it acknowledged that.
Rais hopes the news will restore confidence to the family.
"I remember the day I was chosen and I told my mom, 'Never give up '.
My brother can't do it, but that doesn't mean no one can do it.
You should not give up. You should try.
I tried my best. God helped me.
"This is the lesson Rais learned from the events: trying and trying;
Similarly, never confuse the fate of others with his own.
When he entered Sylhet, his mother could have filled the teacup with tears.
They were happy, but also worried that her Rippon would be traveling by train all day. "You are happy;
"I'm happy too," she said.
"But I'm losing you.
"* Rais's complication with life is that chasing one thing with this passion can distract you from thinking about what it will look like once caught.
In the spring of 1986, when I was twelve years old, I took part in the day at the silxie Junior College. year-Lao Lei cried. A seventh-
Flat machine and brand
The new student began to realize what he promised when trying to please his mother.
Like a stack of precious old family books, he will be locked up --and-
It's been six years in this cabinet.
Darda of Rais, the rejected Darda, must have his own complicated feeling and have to accompany Rais to Sylhet, 150 miles northeast, by Surma mail.
The student college itself is a universe, isolated from a larger country, with its own cinemas, mosques, hospitals and dormitories ---
Not to mention the venue for basketball, football, hockey, tennis and volleyball.
Its ceremony aims to harden the boys, and, again, to let them know the mutual dependence between them.
They wake up before six in the morning, start doing aerobics, run for a few days, and simulate the parade at other times.
After the young boys had classes, their dormitories were examined by senior students who made sure the sheets were tightly stuffed --
The mattress and shoes are tightly arranged under the heel and heel.
Failure on this score, or all sorts of other failures, brings prompt and uplifting punishment: perhaps the frog jumps as he grabs his ankle, or pushes --
Roll in the hallway, or on the open football field.
For crimes of not speaking in order in the classroom, the penalty may be to pull the ear or pull the ass.
"The military academy taught me a lot: discipline, team --
"Construction, leadership, patience . "
He remembered everything was accurate.
After class and after the track and field competition, the children have two hours of homework and only two hours.
Then it was dinner time, and as Rais recalled, they had to line up and walk there: "Not just walking down the street, holding hands or chatting, talking loudly ---not like that.
You form a good formation on one side of the street, where you line up and lead "--
Usually, an elderly person-
"He made sure he was disciplined and no one created any confusion.
"In general, the trainees left the campus only on Thursday morning, traveling about three miles along the airport road, passing through the small airport, entering some gentle hills and returning.
The guards stood along the route, protecting future soldiers from a new independent republic and making sure they did not make too many pranks.
Rais tries to protect himself in his
Admiration, but his extraordinary ability as a runner in silch is an exception.
"From seventh grade, I always come at the beginning of the game," he said . ".
He still remembers senior students being wary of a boy who finished his primary school within a few feet: "It's a surprising thing.
Wow, they said, this kid is amazing.
Rais was a little embarrassed about his retelling: "I shouldn't have said more about it, but I got the attention.
From Grade 7 to grade 12, I am always in the first row.
"He particularly likes to recall the day when he was in seventh and eighth grades --
The grader himself was injured and had to go from 600-meter run.
Although he was relatively young, Rais was suggested as a substitute.
These students belong to the competitor "house" and they compete for points throughout the academic year.
Rais's Shahjalal House needs him in fourth, fifth or sixth place to get enough points to win the game.
Rais believes eighth place.
The grade student who participated in the competition took a third grade student under his wing to help him achieve this goal. The eighth-
Grader agreed, so Rais followed him for most of the game.
At home, Rais decided to sprint when he saw the finish line, even if he was the eighth --
Buddy of the grade group completely lost his endurance.
"I came first," Lais said . "
"It was a disaster and a kind of happiness because the seventh student shocked the whole school. -
A first-year student sitting on the sidelines-he came first.
He still laughed when he thought of the eighth one.
The grade student who confronted him in the dormitory: "Who asked you to come first?
He said: "It is a shame for the eighth grade;
This is a pleasure for the seventh grade.
People held me up and danced with a smile and said, "You broke history today. No seventh-
That's what Grader did in history.
When Rais tells such a story, sometimes he grabs himself and tells another story to the contrary.
So his 600-
Rice upset led to a restriction on talent.
Rais said that he learned while upgrading his qualifications and ran the fastest to keep his house from winning.
He will finish the game early, win applause, and sometimes get a medal, but the last few players in his team have prevented individual wins from becoming a collective victory for Shahar House.
He found that if he ran slower, he could stick to it and motivate them as they ran to get them to the finish line.
It often works.
"If I give up the medals, if I take these kids to the front, my house will go up," he said . ".
This was one of the main lessons of Rais at the time--
This is related to another lesson that a stern teacher once gave him.
The teacher pulled his ear and hit him in the ass because the noise in class was actually made by Rais's neighbors.
When Rais later went to the teacher to protest against this injustice, his teacher responded that, like a contagious house fire in a crowded area of Dhaka, in life, sometimes you get burned for not having your own sin, just because of where you stand.
After six years in college, Rais graduated.
He was pulled out by his opponent's goal in one way or another.
At least after he accompanied his father to Dhaka airport as a child, watching the sky devour him and taking him to the UAE, he dreamed of becoming a pilot.
The dream became more vivid over time: he wanted to attend the Bangladesh Air Force Academy.
But this vision now has to compete with another vision, recently inspired by Sylhet alumni who visited the school and gave pep speeches on the world beyond it.
One of the most impressive is to study in the United States.
It also attracted Rais.
The best way, he argues, is to pursue both ambitions at the same time and to follow God's preferred schedule.
"If I don't realize this dream, maybe this is the next one," he said . ".
If you are not driving here, go to the United States to study.
Rais sees him joining the Air Force Academy as another unlikely success story.
He thought he was one of the sharpest classmates in the class, short and thin, which he thought would make it difficult for the college to pass extensive scrutiny and testing: "It's hard to go to the Air Force, because it has very limited openings.
You must have a very good health, a very good vision, and must be very talented.
You must have more than 175 IQ.
Putting aside this potentially inflated number, the Air Force is indeed known for its difficulties, which gives Rais such an observation of his peers: "Those who want to escape from the Army, they choose the Air Force, because they will be kicked out.
"But Rais passed the exam, and then three months of hard training
In the strength training in the south of Chittagong, he lost a lot ---
His cheeks are sunken, his eyes are sunken-
His visiting mother cried when she saw her little skeleton.
Rais broke his wrist three months later.
But he did not tell anyone.
He is very stubborn, afraid of falling behind or being removed from the daily points statistics;
It is important to move forward.
He worked harder on the mile test, and as in Sylhet, he succeeded: "I came first every day.
"This proves some special fate again.
When he finally saw a doctor for his wrist two weeks before the end of training, he was scolded and some damn News: "your hand will never be fine.
It took so long for you to come back and the fracture has spread so much that you are unlikely to get it back as you did before.
"But as ever, it's just a prelude to the story.
The wrist did heal, and three months after the plaster model and suspension of training, Rais officially joined the Air Force Academy.
The next victory means the failure of the last victory.
Rais worked for two and a half years at the Academy in arkore, studying aerodynamics, navigation and meteorology, collecting dozens of flight times, learning Chinese pitching, tumbling and sidewaysmade PT-6A prop planes.
He received a commission as a pilot.
A few months later, in further training with radar and air defense systems, he just changed his mind.
He once said, if not this dream, then another dream.
Studying in America-
He began to whisper in his ear again.
Rais described the change as a natural evolution of his ambition.
Nevertheless, this is a sudden and unusual shift: people trained in the military system rarely leave so quickly.
Even a few years later, Rais could not fully explain what happened to him.
It is clear, he said, that this life is not suitable for him.
Maybe two planes crashed. -
One killed teacher Rais and the other killed classmates.
Or maybe he suddenly felt his life was cut off from the world ---
First at Sylhet, then at Domore, and now at base one by one.
He said: "I went out at the age of eleven . "
"I missed all the good times at home ---
Missed all the shows
Now, I 've been in the Army for two and a half years: missed my sister's wedding, my brother's, and that wedding and that.
So now, when I have my private time, some free time ---
What do I want to do?
A military future will lead to what he calls a "stressful life ".
He asked himself, "Do I really want to live such a life ? "
"It happens that it is harder to leave the air force than to enter the Air Force.
His comrades tried to stop him.
A senior official warned that his possible career choice is a corrupt life for businessmen: "You must be dishonest if you do business.
"Rais will decline from the height of prestige ---
From the pride of defending Bangladesh, from those government cars, members of colonial clubs and foreign education courses, one was given an official ---to its depths.
There seems to be nothing to convince Rais
Shortly after, according to the procedure, the country's aviation secretary contacted Rais to inquire about his request for unloading.
He asked the young man to come to the headquarters and bring his father.
At the meeting, the officer looked at the father: "Can you ask your son what we can do for him to stay?
"His father left a deep impression on Rais that day.
"You raised my son," Rais remembers his father telling the Air Secretary.
"You have made my son an officer in the last two and a half years.
You made him a gentleman.
I think you also give him enough responsibility to make his own decisions.
As a father, I think I did my part.
Now that you are the Guardian, I think you have enough training for him.
So I left it for you and him.
The official sought the final answer from Rais.
He wants to go.
Within six months, he had the release documents.
To fill the gap, a new effort took over: "The next goal: to come to the United StatesS. A.
"However, before that point of wealth comes, another point will complicate things.
Now in his twenties, Rais
Two people, who have known Abida for many years, but are only acquaintances as neighbors.
Their relationship includes passing by Gareth and saying hello. hello-hi-hi at most.
In auspicious times, his family may visit her family and vice versa.
But Rais has been missing from boarding school for years.
When he got home in 1996 and thought of higher studies, he bought a computer and began to learn programming.
He was particularly interested in dBase and FoxPro, thinking they might be able to help him get to the US.
One day, in a chance encounter between them, he learned that Abida, his neighbor, was a computer fan and that she had been afraid and searching for herself, much longer than him.
They exchanged programming books, which caused Rais to troubleshoot Abida over the phone, which caused her to come over from time to help him in person.
"That computer brought us together," Rais said . "
One day, Abida told Rai for no reason that she had secretly loved him in her childhood, but he was always absent and she never had a chance.
In this case, it will be an unusual improvement for a woman, but Rais insists that this is how it happened.
He asked her, "Do you still feel it, or is it gone?
"He remembers the dazzling expression on her face, which makes a man like him anxious to seek approval from his mother.
Abida soon began to tell her own mother that she really had no days for class.
She and Rais will linger in an ice cream shop or a snack bar, or in a seaside place called a Harbor Inn. This is owned by a retired Air Force member, so Rais is confident of getting the service that impressed Abida.
Their courtship lasted for more than a year in this way.
He found Abida "beautiful, friendly, romantic, talented, religious --minded.
"Like his mother, it is difficult for him to describe her in a more specific way;
In his corner of the world, women are often characterized in this way, judging from their skills of integration and smoothness, not from how they stand out.
He did say that she was "in a good mood" and that she could "make any situation easy ".
"Even if you don't talk, everyone knows what the other person is thinking.
"We have this kind of mental adjustment," Rais said . "
Love is a traditional hybrid.
Now accepted in Dhaka. -
Allow a few drops of romance to quickly blend into the torrent of arranged marriage.
This is different from what Rais later observed in the United States: "No one checks whether the chemical reaction works.
The chemical reaction has begun. We are in love.
Well, look at ten girls and find one.
This is not the case.
We love each other already, love is respect.
"Rais did what he thought a man of integrity had to do: ask his mother for advice.
"My mother is on one side of the scale and the whole world is on the other side of the scale, but my mother's side is heavier," Rais likes to tell people . ".
His mother loved Abida from her growing experience and her recent technologysupport visits.
At the beginning of 1999, Rais arranged a small get-
He had dinner in a restaurant with his brother Abida and his mother.
The couple wanted Rais's mother to bless their relationship in the restaurant she officially gave away.
Although Abida's mother had a different feeling about the game, Rais did not deserve to have her pious daughter for reasons not stated, and the young couple decided to continue the game.
They promised each other their lives and hands.
They will coax, wisdom and bypass elders who disagree as needed.
The fifth victory was related to the visa.
Even if his relationship with Abida developed well, Rais was consumed by the repeated demands of his "leaving.
It's not enough for him to fly a fighter all his life, and it's not enough to be a full, regular working class. He wanted more--
To learn in America, to learn computers, to enter the world's shaking IT boom by the end of 1990.
Or at least he can learn about commercial aviation there and then go home to be a pilot at Biman Airlines.
He heard from his fellow students who immigrated and went home to tell about it, in places like St. with names, rich and great stories
Cloud of Minnesota
In the morning after the morning, sometimes at four in the morning. m.
Rais joined the visa line outside the US embassy.
Sometimes, three or four hours later, as the team finally slides forward, he will find himself carrying too far.
In other cases, he entered the building, but his interviewer scoffed at the idea that any young, unmarried Bengali would actually learn and return to his country.
Committed to Biman? Yeah, sure. Visa rejected. Then again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.
At the same time, Rais used his earlier technology to write a complaintmail to a U. S.
State Department officials he found online-
His bureaucratic uncle helped him draft the message in the government.
The pronunciation language used by this person has caused encouraging but unclear responses: follow "if you feel you still have enough reason to apply for a visa, we encourage you to go again.
"Nevertheless, the fact of a reply did impress him.
When he returned to the embassy for his eighth visa interview, he found that the seven people who had been rejected were gone and replaced by a new officer, he seems to be impressed with Rais's military background and TOEFL scores, or the Test of English as a foreign language.
He asked the young man about his dream.
Research Aviation, Rais said.
For his previous visit, he played down the IT philosophy more wisely and added, "so I can fly back for Biman.
"Well, good luck with your dreams, sir.
"Bhuiyan," said the police officer. Visa approved.
Rais came out of the embassy, entered syrupy Dhaka air, and went to the relatives who lived nearby.
He asked for their prayer carpet and fell to the ground to thank God.
At home later that day, he realized that he had to give two messages to his mother.
First, even after he stopped telling her about the visa, he continued to pursue the visa because it was painful for her to refuse.
The second is he got it.
He bent down and touched her foot.
At first, his father seemed skeptical, and then expressed doubt about the way his son operated. Wonderful news--
All but Abida.
Now she will join the trail of people, places and things that float when Rais wakes up.
The first thing she said was, "You did it!
Rais admits, but her feeling is "sweet and sour" at best ".
"You're leaving me," she said proudly.
She was afraid that her mother would use her loneliness to take her away from Rais.
He remembers her warning: "I'm not saying I'm negative, but I just feel like maybe I'll never see you again.
There's a feeling in my head that something happens and then we can never be together.
"For people like Rais, this fear seems to be just another obstacle to jumping.
He felt that anxiety was normal and even necessary.
"This is a good question," he told her . ".
"You don't want to lose me because you love me so much.
So that's why it's in your mind.
But you know me: I won't go there, just forget you.
He promised: "He will be back in half a year, inshallah.
When he finished his studies, he would fly home, convince her mother like he did to convince the Air Secretary, and marry Abida ceremoniously, and let the community witness, perhaps in the Air Force Canteen, perhaps on New Year's Eve, in a special way that they have discussed, give a lot of food to the poor and do not accept gifts.
They will weave their nests in Dhaka.
The plan changed again.
The change began with a narrow apartment in New York, located in the immigrant landing area of Woodside, Queens.
The area is packed with newcomers, with a desire for other places, shops and nostalgic homes that sell phone cards and flags --style sauces.
Rais and a group of others from Bangladesh live on the first floor of a house, close to the corner of 59 th Street and 37 th Avenue.
It's under the route to Runway 4 at LaGuardia Airport.
22. Rais often finds himself unable to fall asleep after 5. m.
Or nearby, thanks to the Roar, the House-
The engine rattle on it.
He and his three roommates, he met them in the Bengali Circle in New York, and he happened to know that two of them went home, first of all, they rented the basement for $1,000 a month.
Then they upgraded to the top floor for about $1,500.
These guys make fun of Rais calling Abida for what Rais jokingly calls "cook support.
"When it was his turn to feed the house, he would sometimes dial her in front of the stove for help.
Abida taught him how to use ginger powder, lime and water to suppress the spicy nature of buffalo fish or tilapia.
She instructed him to put the knife on the stove flame before cutting the onion to avoid crying.
He finally arrived in New York in 1999.
At the age of five, his interest in commercial aviation was vague, but the company plans to study commercial aviation, which is more in line with his background.
At first, he did a series of part-time jobs.
Work time to break even. His flat-
Partners working at gas stations told Rais that the opportunity to do a graveyard class there is: Rais can attend classes during the day and study behind bulletproof glass at night.
So Rais did this for a few months, changed buses to work twice, and only slept two or three hours a night.
When the job ran out of his energy, he found another one.
I have lived in a Taobao shop in Manhattan.
He also tried to work as a waiter at a thriving French restaurant in Midtown, but after a 12-year-old wedding he was exhausted
An hour's shift was entirely on his feet.
Even before Rais registered for an aviation course, one of his friends was former
The Air Force in New York is now trying to persuade him to change his visa.
He knows that Rais likes computers and coding.
He told Rais that many industries, including the aviation industry, are out of date.
When the computer will fly soon, why train to be a pilot?
It's much better to learn how to operate these computers.
When Rais has a goal on his chin, no one can tear it from him.
But for such a tenacious person, he is also easily advised not to release ambitions, nor to escalate to smarter ones.
So his friend's advice is: "I think it would be nice if I could start a different career, a different track.
"Rais is one of the fleets --
Look in the mirror and see only the feet of the future incarnation.
He decided to sign up for a formal
Time course for Computer Studies at Pace University, located in a huge concrete compound near Lower Manhattan City Hall.
But Rais's visa--the M-
1. for vocational training--
Different from F-
He needs to register as a formal. time student.
He had to leave the country to re-apply.
When he crossed to Vancouver at the end of 1999, the embassy refused him.
He was trapped in the plan and returned to New York for several months.
Some of his friends applied for the so-called diversity visa.
This is part of a program that allows immigrants to come to the United States from relatively few places.
The program used lottery tickets and selected about 50,000 winners among millions of applicants.
On average, the chances of success are less than 1%.
For those who do so, visas pave the way for green cards and permanent residency.
Rais decided to apply.
After submitting his application, he returned to Bangladesh on February 2000.
He had hoped to marry Abida at this time.
However, Abida's sister died in labor before he came.
"It's not the time to go to the wedding," Rais concluded . ".
Rais feels Abida's feelings for him are still strong, but her mother continues to lobby her.
Strange: Rais went to their house on this trip, the mother fed him and was very kind to his face.
The reason behind it, he can never understand (
Or maybe not)
She pulled Abida in another direction.
However, Abida seems to be very flexible in her dedication.
The young couple missed each other and had a feeling of frustration during this visit that they did not meet.
Rais's bedroom window looks at Abida's kitchen window, and Rais often checks to see if he can find Abida cooking and greets by layers of glass.
In this visit, as before he left, Rais hung a few magnets on a nail on his door, where Abida could see them, which he sent to her
He takes off the magnet when he comes back so she knows he is safe.
Abida also placed a magnet. -
On the iron bars of the kitchen windows ---
Remove them when you get home.
Raay returned to New York and their love began again, but the date of the wedding was still difficult to determine.
He suddenly learned that he had obtained a visa for diversity.
"I opened a new chapter that day," he said.
It's not just a visa.
In the hands of a man ready to re-invent, this is an invitation to a massive change in life plans.
By definition, a student visa allows only one person to study in the country.
Rais must go home when it's done, or find an employer ---
Sponsored Visas for working and staying in the United States;
Moreover, because they are unmarried, it will be difficult to obtain a visa for Abida.
The diversity visa creates a path for his spouse to work with him in the United States and to work indefinitely.
Because it was easy for Rais to re-imagine himself, he now decided to live in the United States.
He will forget Beiman, who will fly home to marry Abida at the end of 2001, take her to New York and live with her in the United States.
Abelda did not have much say in this matter, and her life trajectory was tortuous.
Now it's turning again.
After returning to New York, Rais decided to travel.
Before going to Dhaka, he got a call from a man who took a while to get through.
The man claimed to be Salim, saying he was a few years earlier than Sylhet's Rais.
Rais thinks of it now: he is a very friendly person.
Salim heard about Lais's life in the United States from an ordinary friend.
On the phone, Salim was immediately familiar with the American way, and suggested that Rais visit him in Dallas, Texas.
Rais doesn't know yet, but in Salim's line of work, people have been looking for fresh, hardworking immigrants you can trust.
While visiting Salim, Rais found that Dallas's bathroom was as big as his bedroom in New York.
He was fascinated by the City somehow.
If you think about it, there's no difference between New York and Daka. -
Yes, it is full of life, but it is basically an overgrown market, suffocating and crowded.
It's great for a single man who just wants to work.
But Dallas offers what Rais is starting to dream about as he gets closer and closer to becoming a family man: space, freedom, 12-lane roads.
Cheap rent and low taxes.
Computer courses are rich.
It may not attract him if he doesn't get a diversity visa, but his current calculation is to build a family and long term.
America is no longer a training ground,it was home.
In Texas, he can study and pay rent while working;
If he is lucky, he can create a life for two people.
Shortly after his visit, he called Salem from New York.
"What's there if I move to Texas? " he asked.
"How can you help me?
It turns out that Salim has a lot to offer.
He and his brother are businessmen in Dallas, where they opened a new gas station.
If Rais moves down, he can work as one of Salim's partners;
If he does well, it will soon be possible for him to have his own gas station.
It may not be charming, but it will make a lot of money for the wedding and his studies.
"Like a team, we will help each other," Salim told Rais . ".
There is enough trust between them and they don't talk about money.
Rais plans to stay in Salim's house upon arrival.
Dallas's chance is for Rais to win for the seventh time in a row.
What a continuous event it is: Sylhet, then the Air Force, then the flight from the Air Force, then Abida, then the first visa and the impossible second visa, now Texas
All of this helped Rais not mind the long and smelly month of cleaning up the garbage and scrubbing the floor at the barkner food supermarket, which had been out of repair for years before Salim bought it.
Rais did not mind the thieves and the lifeless shelters;
He even got used to guns.
His eyes were on the horizon as always.
He will save money for the flight back to Dhaka on October, and the final wedding will be held.
He said to Abida: "You do some basic work with your parents so they don't get blocked.
When I came, it was supposed to be, 'Well, then let's do the business.
Even in this exciting atmosphere, Abida wants to let Reis know what she really cares about.
"The first thing she told me was, 'too far from New York.
Do you really want to go to Texas?
Back home, Texas is always wild, wild, with guns everywhere, Cowboys, this, that-
In all Western movies.
She advised him to reconsider: "Do you have to go ? "
Can't you stay in New York?
"But she also knows that she knows very little, and Rais insists it's the right choice for them.
He explained to her that he would prefer New York if he only thought for himself.
The whole purpose of moving to the south is to build a life suitable for family life ---their family.
Even before EBIDA, Rais has convinced himself that he will go to Texas for her.
* Rais is handsome and not imposed on a room with a condescending nose and a full jet nose --
The black hair, the prominent forehead, the pecans of the eyes, and even if they laughed, the eyes stared strongly.
His shoulder jumped low and did not stretch out and seemed wary of taking up space.
He is strong but slim, which makes mothers want to cook.
On the second Tuesday of September, four months after his life in Texas, he spent a rare day at home.
He learned that the type of jet he had dreamed of directing had sunk into the tower he was very familiar.
Rais, a film enthusiast who can see almost any movie simulation and see the first burning tower, is surprised at what these Hollywood types can do.
He felt cold when he was hit for the second time.
He thought that he had tried to get on the buildings many times, but was frustrated by the lines.
Rais watched TV angrily for many days to come.
He overheard customers venting their anger at people from places where they had never announced their names.
He remembers saying things like "foreigners are taking over our country" and "killing all Muslims in the Middle East.
"Some of them saw a brown one --
The skin man behind the counter asked Rais what he thought of the recent incident.
He tried to affirm their anger and get involved without much discussion.
The most important thing is that he thinks that the people who do this are not Muslims,--
The difference is important to him. -
"People who believe in Islam.
They claim to be Muslims and shout "Allah" when they pray and may even go to Mecca ".
But in Rais's vision of faith, they are automatically infidels and disqualified by their actions.
Some long and hot days have passed.
On the morning of September 17, in the Dallas Morning Post, Rais saw a story titled "fatal shooting attracted the FBI," and his chest became tense.
"A man grilled a burger at a mom grocery store two and a half miles from Elam and was shot under the business logo we thank you.
He's the owner of the store. this guy, apparently he's a Muslim. -
A Pakistani named Waka Hassan.
The bullet entered his right cheek, crossed his skull and stopped in the neck muscles behind his left ear.
The police know a lot, but they have nothing else.
"There is no motive, no robbery, no suspects, no witnesses," the police reported . ".
Or, as Rais says, "No one knows who did it, how, why.
"On the night after the murder, Rais's mind was filled with violent dreams.
The environment here has always been the barkner food supermarket.
He made some constructive suggestions to Salim.
Why not install a real security camera in the store instead of a fake one they use to deter?
Why not keep two employees in the store all the time?
"It's just a dream," Salim said . "
He wants to calm Lars down.
He and his brother know what they are doing and they are not millionaires either.
Who will pay for these improvements?
It is natural for some angry customers to visit the store.
After all, they were attacked.
They have no malice.
The best way is to keep your head down.
Salim gave Rais some simpleto-
Follow the advice: "Try to stay away from any conversation with people.
"The Boss reached an agreement with his friend: No more nights, okay?
From now on, Rais only works in the morning.
It sounds feasible.
Loyalty is better than fear at the emotional level of Lais.
* Dull beginning in September 21.
The monsoon from home to Dallas seems to be accompanied by Rais.
The sky in Texas is low and gray and low above the station.
Although unpleasant for people, the half-inch rain, after a ruthless baking for a summer, has brought a great relief to the soil.
Rais opened the store that morning and usually works until noon.
Then a colleague took over and Rais could go to Friday's prayer.
However, the colleague resigned a few days ago, so Rais was stuck there all day.
So much in the morning-only deal.
Salim stepped in and out of the store.
On a typical day, he may help Rais on a busy morning shift, then drive to his brother's site and return to the store at night.
On this special day he came in less than an hour and then left to get some stock.
At about half Noon, a customer finally arrived.
It's the barber who cut it strictly next door. A tall guy--
About six or 6 feet.
He is an American as usual.
A delicious lunch of French fries and soda;
Sometimes he throws cookies or candy for the sake of the treat.
He said something to Rais about all the tensions in the city: a lot of people walked into the barber shop and said something bad to others and groups.
"Man, be safe," said the barber . "
The barber seems to bring good luck.
Within a minute of his departure, the door opened again ---
Another customer resisted the rain.
The man at the entrance immediately caught Rais's attention as he had a red headscarf around his mouth. He wore a wife-
Beating machine, shorts, black baseball cap and ring sunglasses that hide each part of the face, otherwise Rais may investigate for the background.
His arm is like a huge ham, with an inscription of 360 degrees painted around it.
He had some black shiny things in his hand, and he seemed to want to hide them from the people outside, but revealed them to the people inside ---to Rais.
The institutional memory of Rais is improving: "I know he won't sell me this time because no one in the store sells guns.
They're here to rob you.
"Now, the man is walking to the counter into the store;
Now he's only a few feet away from Rais on the other side.
Close to the display, yes, that shiny black thing is a gun-a double-
It's like a barrel pistol.
The man pointed at the head of Rais. "Oh, no.
Rob again today? " Rais thought. Oh, Texas--
This has become a major stimulus.
Rais said: "I know this drill and I have to turn on the cash register, turn on the cash, give the money to him and keep it safe. " Click-
Whoosh: The Register is open.
Rais took about $150 and put it on the counter.
He said casually, please-take-the-money-but-don't-hurt-me.
He is now familiar with his lines.
He became very good.
But in this game, the other player doesn't seem to know his role.
Money did not bother him.
He only said, "where are you from ? "
"Rais clearly, this issue has nothing to do with robbery.
Maybe he didn't hear the man directly through his turban. "Excuse me?
Asked Rais lightly.
Even though he said that, he felt that his spine had become an ice column.
Rais said to himself, "Oh, my God, he's not for the money . ".
He took a step or two back and removed his face from the man.
Then, millions of bees came out of nowhere, as if their last hive on earth had just been destroyed, starting a massive sting of syncing Rais's face.
He heard the explosion later.
The melody of his "excuse me?
"Enough has been revealed.
At first, he couldn't believe it was a shot.
"I want to benefit myself from the doubt because I was not shot," he said . ".
Rais tried to reassure himself: "Maybe he had a drink or something. Not me; I was not shot.
He just wanted to know if he was hallucinating.
Seeing the blood pouring out of his head, like pouring out of the tap, knew what was going on.
He shouted "mom" to no one ".
He had enough money to hold his hands on his head: "I thought my brain would come out at any time ---
First Blood, now brain.
"But the soldiers inside him kept telling himself that it didn't make any sense.
Blood spilled from his head, which meant he was hit, but a bullet shot into a person's head from outside one or two arms and would end him immediately.
Rais is not only alive.
He stood, somehow.
Why is he standing in the name of God?
He thought he was dead, and it was a later change.
Rais, who now sees tattoos, is still in the store, just standing there and staring at his prey.
Things that fail in some way for the first time will certainly happen for the second time.
"If I don't pretend I'm dying, maybe he'll shoot me again to make sure I'm dead," Rais reasoned . ".
He must pretend to die.
He plunged into his own pool of blood.
His heart spins in a roll of images: his beloved mother and father, his seven brothers and sisters, his lovely Abida.
He promised her that he would not go too long.
Each picture stays for a few seconds, just like in one of the laptop slides.
Looking at him, his face was a little melancholy and drooping, but there was nothing to do with it. he resigned in darkness.
They seemed to stand on the other side of an invisible wall and watch him die.
He recognized the flashing picture in the movie. -
Just like his ice column spine accurately predicted the danger a while ago ---
Zuo Las is particularly worried: this is the upcoming death mark in Hollywood.
He's disappearing. He could tell.
He saw the headstone of the Muslim cemetery.
He saw his grave.
The horizon is drawing closer.
How many seconds are left?
What a wonderful life it is. Where-
All this took him away.
He's thinking about his God.
Part of him wants to believe that it's just a trial, like everything else.
He wants to know what the verse God wants to hear most now.
He decided to hedge his bet: "I'm not sure which one is more effective now.
Continue to recite all the verses one by one.
"He whispered to God, from the floor wet by his own juice, that he was the surahs line known from childhood: he was the Lord of two Esther, and two of you to deny which favor of your Lord?
He released two flowing waters and gathered together. There is a barrier between them. they will not cross. So what will you deny?
Pearl and coral came out of it. Then which favor do you want to deny the Lord?
His ship sailed smoothly at sea, as lofty as a mountain. So, what favors will you deny your Lord?
Everything on Earth will perish, but the face of your Lord will always abide ---
Full of majesty, grace and honor.
Can this God bargain with him?
Is this God like an American store or is it like a home store?
Rais wants an agreement.
He is a sinner, and he confesses to the sky, but for the sake of his mother he asks for mercy in the name of the Prophet.
"At least don't make my mom sad," he asked God . ".
His tired mind provided the exchange of conditions: "If you return my life to me today, I will surely dedicate my life to others, especially the poor, the poor and those in need. -
I will, I promise.
But give me a chance.
There are many people who love me.
It's hard for them to get this information and it's hard to see me go today.
Even for them--
For my mother--
Please give me a chance.
The door made a sound of closing.
The tattoo guy is gone.
Somehow, even though Rais was disappearing, he found the energy to stand: "I was thinking that I didn't know how many seconds I had before I died.
"He wants to play 911, but his understanding of Hollywood is back to him again.
Didn't there be so many movies that made some people die, called 911, and he crashed before he gave all the details?
"If I call, live in the store, and if I pass out, then a lot of the time I see them in the movie taking the phone, but never make a phone call.
Some people say, hello, hello. This is 911.
So I don't think I should stay.
"He needs someone nearby to help him.
He grabbed a cordless phone and staggered out of the door, leaving a red mark on the door.
A blood stain followed him to a strict wound nearby.
As soon as he entered the door, he caused panic among customers. some customers ran back the door.
Rais managed to catch a barber and begged him to call an ambulance.
When the barber called, Rais caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror.
He now sees that he has been destroyed.
His face was perforated in hundreds of places and oozed from every hole.
His right eye closed, covered in blood: "I looked in the mirror, I saw it, like all the horror characters in the horror film, full of blood, blood everywhere on my faceThis olive-colored T-
The shirt was stained with blood.
"Because vanity is one of the more resilient organs, Rais was surprised by his appearance:" I said, 'Wow ---
What I look like now
I am a beautiful young man.
He kept telling himself that death was wrong.
It's too early to bow.
He was worried that it might be fatal to sit down and wait for an ambulance. "Now what?
He thought in his heart.
"I don't know how many minutes are left ---
How long will the ambulance arrive.
Should I sit on the floor in the meantime?
Should I lie down?
If I lie down and sit down, it means ---
I give up, maybe I will die.
So in addition to reciting the Quran, I should stay positive and energetic and continue to do something instead of sitting and resting ---
Also do some physical activities that keep me energetic.
So I ran around in the parking lot--
If the ambulance came from this road, it would be like the ambulance came from this road.
Which direction does the ambulance come in?
I was crazy. -
Where is the ambulance?
Because I know I have to be treated.
I have the phone in my hand--
Cordless phone in the store-
They even call.
"A few minutes later, when the ambulance arrived and the back door opened, Rais stood outside of them waiting to board the plane.
He then sat on a stretcher under the face of the medical staff, spinning on the city's pretzel highway.
He remembered worrying that the doctor was not doing fast enough.
He pleaded, "please treat me quickly . "
He is struggling with the urge to sleep.
He knows that sleeping is a shortcut to death.
Photos of his family have been circulating through his head, but sometimes all he sees is gray.
He could feel his eyes darken and swollen by the hot ball;
His mind was dull.
He lost his ability to think.
He can't see.
He forced himself to stay awake for as long as possible.
He knew he was in the hospital.
The voice above him talked eagerly about him.
Then the world turned black.
The phone rang in Dhaka.
Rais's father was tied to the bathroom while taking the cordless phone.
A voice said your son was shot.
The sound sounds far away, but it speaks Bengali.
Your son's face shot.
He is in hospital.
Please continue to pray. Dial tone.
The father, an elderly diabetic patient whose control of his body began to lose him, took a little time to deal with what he had just heard.
His bladder tells him he needs to continue his bathroom tour anyway.
He will then come out and inform his family of the call.
He crashed in the bathroom.
It was a stroke, triggered by shock, and it took more than an hour for the family to notice his absence.
When they found him, some dark and mysterious news he wanted to share interrupted the panic over his condition. It sounded--
From a weak, uncomfortable person ---
Like some kind of mixture. up.
Then the reality of it disappears.
Then tears and screams.
Over the next few days, Texas no longer sends them any messages, and their family realizes that they are stupidly without a phone number other than Rais's phone number, Rais's phone number
They can only imagine the worst: after all, the boy was shot in the head.
The news spread around.
Friends and relatives began to come to the house for updates and comfort their families from sad cooking with the beef curry and rice they brought.
Slowly, the Bhutanese turned from waiting to grief.
Little Rippon got lost and was torn off by his lovely bride before she knew him.
Why are we letting him go?
They kept asking themselves until the problem was solved.